Lonliness in Leadership

Rich Baron • January 4, 2023

Being a Leader does not mean you must be Lonely

We often hear the phrase; it is lonely at the top. No doubt being in a leadership position can become a lonely place. Harvard Business Review reported that half of all CEOs report that loneliness is indeed a problem and at times, has hurt their overall performance. Today, if you google, “loneliness in leadership,” you will get more than 12 million results. We are not alone in our assumptions that there is an issue with feeling alone at the top. The feelings of loneliness appear as we climb higher up the ladder in our careers. 
Leaders are at unique risk for loneliness. Having to make the decisions that come from being in a senior leadership position can make one feel as if they are indeed alone at times. The added challenges of leading an organization can compound these feelings of loneliness and those who understand this unique burden, are all too often consumed with their leadership journey to offer substantial perspective. 
These feelings of loneliness can cross over into our personal and family lives making it difficult to compartmentalize the office from our homes. In addition, loneliness if left unchecked, can create higher levels of stress which can impede sleep, affect our ability to think rationally, and augment depression and anxiety. 

Merriam-Webster dictionary defines lonely as the following:

• Being without company.
• Cut off from others.
• Not frequented by human beings.
• Sad from being alone.
• Producing a feeling of desolation or bleakness.

It takes a lot of grit, courage, and determination to be a leader and ascend the corporate ladder. However, based on the definition of being lonely, and the accounts of so many who have experienced this problem, it raises a simple question - who in their right mind would ever want to be in a senior leadership position? The simple fact is that loneliness in leadership does not have to be the norm. So, what can be done to help alleviate this problem?

Build Meaningful Relationships in your Organization
Great leaders in any organization are committed to building meaningful relationships and commit to being more connected every day with the people they work with. These same leaders have a mindset that they are part of a bigger picture regardless of the title that is on the outside of the office door. Make a conscious effort every day to be altruistic and surround yourself with people you trust and can be connected with. 

Be Present
One of the traits of great leadership is being in tune with how our actions impact those around us. So often we hang up the “Do Not Disturb” sign simply by not being present and in touch with the people around us. It can be through a lack of interaction or working behind closed doors. Either way, it will push those you need the most in your organization away. Being aware of your corporate footprint and how your actions impact those around us will go a long way in alleviating the feelings of being alone. Simply put, leaders do not have the luxury of not being aware of their interconnectedness. 

Be Transparent 
Being transparent in the workplace means that there is effective, open communication throughout the organization. A transparent and accountable leader is someone that employees look up to. These leaders gain employee loyalty and trust and create a culture of inclusion, engagement, and open collaboration. The benefits of transparent leadership are plenty, including eliminating loneliness. 

Avoid the Overconfidence Effect
Often as a leader’s power grows, real or perceived, they tend to become overconfident in their abilities. This is called the “Overconfidence Effect.” This is one of the most precarious traps to fall into as a leader. This false sense of confidence can lead to ineffective listening, assumptions, misunderstandings, and psychological blind spots. It results in employees feeling that there is a lack of transparency which erodes their trust in you as a leader.
It is a proven statistic that overconfidence in leadership results in pushing those away that you need the most in running your organization. This in turn results in those feelings of loneliness when tough decisions need to be made and there is no one to turn to. 

The Vulnerability Decision
Great leaders surround themselves with experts in their fields and readily seek advice, counsel, and open collaboration. These same leaders realize that they may not the smartest, wisest person at the table. The decision to be vulnerable does not mean you are a weak leader. It takes a great deal of courage in choosing to be vulnerable. The vulnerability decision is the key to unlocking the potential to become a great leader, and once again, ending the loneliness factor. Being a vulnerable, humble leader will open doors to opportunities never thought possible for yourself and your organization.

In Conclusion
The notion that loneliness in leadership comes with the territory must be changed. Being vulnerable, humble, a good example, and transparent will increase the power of your organization and decrease the potential of loneliness in leadership. Law #42 of the 50 laws of intelligent leadership states that “Management is not a matter of controlling people or processes to accomplish a goal. Leadership is about influencing, motivating, and enabling people.” However, if you are from the demand-and-control school of management, you are in for a rude awakening when it comes to finding those people who are willing to stand by your side through those tough times. In short, plan on being lonely.

Rich Baron is a Master Certified Intelligent Leadership Executive Coach with over 25 years of operational management and executive-level leadership experience. Along with his coaching partner, Maikel Bailey, they bring over 50 years of executive coaching and leadership experience to the table.




By Rich Baron December 23, 2025
The First World War, occurring from 1914 to 1918, brought unprecedented destruction and violence. The impact of the First World War, in particular, forever transformed the nature of war. This conflict witnessed the deliberate targeting of civilians, the widespread use of chemical weapons, and the introduction of mechanized warfare on a large scale. The death toll reached a staggering 22 million people, with some accounts putting the toll closer to 37 million. However, amidst the chaos and brutality of the First World War, a brief and remarkable moment of peace unfolded on Christmas Day in 1914. It Will Be Over by Christmas Many of the 60 million soldiers sent to fight in the First World War were told that the war would be over by Christmas—a promise that turned out to be yet another falsehood in a conflict plagued with deception and misinformation. After war was declared in July 1914, it became clear by Christmas of that year that there was no end in sight. The Western Front was dotted with trenches, where millions of soldiers were packed together, enduring freezing conditions. Many of these soldiers were astonishingly close to their enemies, with the British and German trenches sometimes separated by a mere 30 meters. According to Daniel Coyle in his best-selling book “The Culture Code”, soldiers on both sides, because of proximity to each other, started noticing shared patterns of behavior and routines of cooking, re-supply, and troop rotations. Deepening the connection was the realization that both sides were enduring the same terror and stress of harsh conditions. On the late hours of Christmas Eve, German troops started opening gifts that they had received from home, including Christmas trees adorned with candles. The soldiers lit their lanterns and placed them along the edges of their trenches, creating a warm and festive atmosphere. As the candles flickered, the sound of carol singing resonated through the air. A Personal Account Bruce Bairnsfather, a British machine gunner who would later become a well-known cartoonist, vividly described the scene in his memoirs. Like his fellow infantrymen from the 1st Battalion of the Royal Warwickshire Regiment, Bairnsfather spent Christmas Eve shivering in the muddy trenches, desperately trying to keep warm. Having fought against the Germans for the past few months, he found himself in the Bois de Ploegsteert region of Belgium. In this unforgiving environment, Bairnsfather, cramped in a trench only three feet deep and three feet wide, faced constant sleeplessness and fear. His days and nights were filled with the repetitive cycle of anxiety, surviving on stale biscuits and cigarettes too damp to light. At about 10 p.m., Bairnsfather noticed a noise. “I listened,” he recalled. The Germans were singing carols, as it was Christmas Eve. The British soldiers in the trenches joined in by singing back. Amid this peaceful moment, a surprising occurrence unfolded. Bairnsfather and his comrades heard a bewildered shouting from the German side, causing them to pause and listen intently. The voice belonged to an enemy soldier who spoke English with a distinct German accent, calling out, "Come over here." In a remarkable turn of events, the British and French troops, inspired by the Germans, also participated in the Christmas truce. Fear and suspicion were set aside as soldiers began to exchange greetings and well-wishes between the trenches. Offers for a temporary ceasefire were communicated and accepted. With the dawn of Christmas morning, soldiers cautiously stepped out into no man's land. They greeted one another and engaged in an awe-inspiring display of humanity. Messages and gifts were shared as soldiers from opposing sides momentarily set aside their enmity. In some areas, caps and jackets were repurposed as goalposts, leading to impromptu and joyful football matches. It is even said that the Germans emerged victorious in one of these games with a final score of 3-2. Another British soldier, named John Ferguson, recalled it this way: “Here we were laughing and chatting to men whom only a few hours before we were trying to kill!” The temporary cessation of fighting continued in certain areas until the arrival of the New Year, but ultimately, the pause proved to be brief and the peace was short-lived. Although there were several other instances of similar truces during the war, none were as widespread or significant as the Christmas truce of 1914. Disapproval from Senior Leaders As expected, certain high-ranking officers on both sides viewed the Christmas Truce with disapproval. They issued orders explicitly forbidding any association with the enemy and warned of potential punishments for those who disobeyed, even execution for cowardice by firing squad for those who attempted to start another truce. However, the soldiers, who were already weary from the war (unaware of the years of continued fighting ahead), chose to take matters into their own hands. They defied the orders and acted independently to establish moments of peace, albeit temporary, amidst the turmoil of war. In an alternate account, it is reported that a German soldier named Adolf Hitler reprimanded his comrades during the Christmas Truce, expressing his disapproval by stating, "Such a thing should not happen in wartime. Have you no German sense of honor left?" Hitler, who was 25 years old at the time, conveyed his disdain for the temporary ceasefire. What Can We Learn as Leaders If enemies on the battle lines can create a culture of safety, respect, and belonging even during war, it suggests that similar conditions can be replicated within organizations. And indeed, there are ways to achieve this. According to Coyle, organizations that foster a strong sense of belonging can address the following questions to ensure a positive response from employees: 1. Are we connected? - Encourage open communication and collaboration among team members. - Foster a sense of unity and shared purpose. 2. Do we share a future? - Clearly, and often, communicate the organization's vision, mission, and goals. - Involve employees in decision-making processes to create a sense of ownership and shared commitment. 3. Are we safe? - Promote a culture of psychological safety where employees completely trust that the organization is a safe place to give 100% while expressing their opinions and taking risks. - Establish policies and practices that prioritize employee well-being and physical safety. To ensure a resounding "YES" to these questions, it is crucial to clearly and consistently communicate the organization's vision, mission, and goals. This can be achieved by: Communicate the purpose: An effective approach to communicate your organization's purpose is by using concise messaging throughout. Avoid using overly complex statements that potential employees may struggle to understand or feel apprehensive about living up to. Articulating the vision: Communicate the long-term aspirations and purpose of the organization. This overarching vision should inspire and provide a sense of direction for all employees. And that they are a crucial part of achieving the vision. Define the mission: Clearly define the organization's mission statement, which outlines its core purpose, main activities, and the value it delivers to its stakeholders. Regularly reinforce this mission to remind employees of the organization's primary focus. My Key Takeaways The Christmas Truce offers valuable lessons about leadership and culture that can be applied in various contexts. Although this event took place over 100 years ago, the lessons we must learn from those brave soldiers are still relevant today. So here are a few of my thoughts and key takeaways: 1. Leaders Set the Tone: The temporary ceasefire during the Christmas Truce was driven by individual soldiers who took the initiative to establish peace. This highlights the importance of leaders setting the right tone and creating an environment that encourages positive actions and behaviors. 2. Humanize the "Enemy": The soldiers involved in the truce showed empathy and compassion towards their supposed enemies. This serves as a powerful reminder that seeing the humanity in others, even in challenging circumstances, can foster understanding and connection. 3. Facilitate Connection and Communication: The Christmas Truce exemplified the power of connection and communication across divides. Leaders should create opportunities for open dialogue, collaboration, and relationship building, fostering a sense of community and common purpose. 4. Encourage Empathy and Respect: The truce demonstrated the significance of empathy and respect in promoting peaceful interactions. Leaders can cultivate these qualities by emphasizing the importance of understanding different perspectives and treating others with dignity and respect. 5. Boldly Challenge Norms: The soldiers who participated in the truce defied the established orders and norms, highlighting the potential for positive change when individuals challenge the status quo. Leaders should encourage everyone in their organizations to think differently and think big. Wrapping Up Even in today's world, the lessons from the Christmas Truce of 1914 remain pertinent. Individuals, regardless of their political beliefs and ideologies, will unite with their families to celebrate the birth of Jesus Christ, who symbolizes peace and salvation. It is a day when we commit ourselves to acts of generosity and spreading kindness to those around us. Afterward, instead of going back to our organizational trenches and shooting at each other verbally from within our siloed walls, we should stay in the “no man’s land” of compromise and conciliation and continue to find solutions to common problems. Like the soldiers in the Christmas Truce, we should make the spirit of goodwill at Christmas last more than one day. By consistently prioritizing and nurturing these elements year-round, organizations can create a culture that fosters a strong sense of belonging, ultimately leading to increased engagement, productivity, and overall organizational success. I wish you all a Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays. Thank you for your continued support and I wish you all the best for the coming new year. About the Author Rich Baron is the Chief Operating Officer and Director of Global Coaching Projects at John Mattone Global (JMG) and a Master Certified Intelligent Leadership® Executive Coach. He partners with C-level leaders and high-potential executives around the world to strengthen trust, elevate culture, and drive sustainable transformation. Rich leads large-scale coaching and cultural initiatives across multiple regions and industries, and serves as a strategic bridge between executive teams, HR, and global coaching networks. He is also the co-host of the Mainline Executive Coaching ACT podcast, recognized as one of the top executive coaching podcasts globally, where he explores the real-world challenges and opportunities facing today’s leaders. Through his work, Rich is dedicated to CHANGING THE WORLD One Leader, One Organization at a Time® by helping leaders move beyond performance and build the inner architecture required to become world-class executives.
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